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I’ll be the first to tell you that nothing is more boring than a +1 longsword or that humor based artifacts are a bad idea in anything other than a humor driven campaign. And yet I’m a sucker for puns. Here are three new Artifacts that are all in the mind. Feel free to use them (or not) as suits your campaign.

Head Cannon

Head Cannons were originally designed by Blandine’s Wardens as a way to create favorable conditions in a dreamscape from the outside. Early models like handheld bronze cannons while newer versions most closely resemble the Desert Eagle. The cannon must be “loaded” with an idea prior to each shot. Newer versions require only one round to load, older ones can take a minute or more. Firing the cannon at a dreamscape or domain allows the wielder to use Firearms/Perception instead of Dreaming/Intelligence for a single reshaping roll.

Once the wilder goes inside a dreamscape or domain this ability ceases to function unless the weapon is fired at the domain’s master. However, the firearm will continue to function as a talisman for the purposes of being armed within the dream.

On the other hand, these weapons are useless in the corporeal realm. Any attempt to use mundane munitions will result in a misfire.

Cost: 3 CP + 2CP/level
Activation: 1 essence
Disturbance: CD (originating outside the affected dreamscape or domain)

Occam’s Razor

This main-gauche was originally part of Lawrence’s collection, but it was lost during one of the later crusades and eventually made its way into Vapula’s arsenal (where rumor has it the blade has been reworked into a gravity knife). Although it can be used as a small weapon in either the corporeal or ethereal realms, it’s main function is defense. The talisman grants a bonus to the defense skill and someone armed with Occam’s Razor (or one of it’s knockoffs) may make a Defense/Precision roll to “parry” lies and fast talk (although doing so means passing up the opportunity to resist the manipulation with a raw Will roll later).

Cost: 2 CP/level
Activation: none
Disturbance: none

False Alarm

False alarms are frequently woven into sorcerous home defenses, though servitors of Kobal are also partial to them. They have been made in match all manner of technological and spiritual home defenses, from nazars and mezzuzah to window wires and security cameras. However, while the devices appear to be alarms or traps, they’re really a form of ward. Crossing into the False Alarm’s protected area will trigger any supernatural abilities designed to detect danger or observation (such as the Song of Nemesis).

Cost: 2 CP
Activation: 1 essence/day
Disturbance: 1 (persistent)